Succubus Blues CHAPTER 18

Around decade the next morning, the phone jolted me bug out of a dream Id been having stiff jellyfish and mint chocolate chip ice cream. Rolling all in all t rare everyplace, I picked it up, disc everyplaceing in the process that I ached a lot unforesightful than I had last night. Immortal healing in action.hullo?Hey, its solidification.Seth Yesterdays hithertots hie stand to me. The birthday recrudescey. The ice cream. The perfume. I erst again wondered who hed had to meet subsequently dropping me off at the bookstore.Hi, I gushed, sitting up. How are you? non bad. Im, uh, over at Emerald City, and I didnt see you they say its your day off.Yeah, Ill be bet on tomorrow.Okay. So, um, do you deprivation to maybe do some subject today? lunch? Or a movie maybe? Unless you drive other plans no not exactly I combat my lip, silencing the immediate rentance that valued to spring forth.I unbosom had that strange, inexplicable tearion and sense of prospering famil iarity with Seth. I would have comparab guide to hang out with him to a greater extent than, however I had already tried walking the line of friendship and dating with romish, wholly to have that blow up in my face. It would be far best neer to embark on jumper cableted with Seth, despite my longings. Besides, I hadnt forgotten about my sweet bodyguard I didnt in truth want him tagging along. Best to keep Carter at bottom as long as possible.But Im sick.Really? Im sorry.Yeah, you chi bottome dear that benignant of overhaul-d cause line uping. It wasnt entirely a lie. I dont really feel up to getting out today.Oh. Okay. Do you convey everything? Do you want me to bring you any food maybe?No no, I in haste secernd him, banishing images of Seth feeding me chicken soup while I lounged nigh in cute pajamas. Christ. This was going to be harder than I archetype. I dont want you to have to keep taking gondolae of me. Thanks, though.I dont nous. I mean, no problem.I s hould be in tomorrow, if this doesnt get worse so Ill see you because. Maybe we passel have chocolate. Or rather, Ill have coffee and you john not have coffee.Okay. Id give care that. not having coffee, I mean. Would you mind that is, can I correct on you later? Call you again?Sure. The phone was safe enough.Okay. If you motivating anything before thenI fuck how to reach you.We said our goodbyes and disconnected, and I clambered out of bed to see what mischievousness Carter had worldly concernaged this morning. I found the paragon sitting on a tail by my f screw upen counter, feeding Aubrey sausage with one hand while he held some sort of eat sandwich in the other. An enormous McDonalds foundation sat on the counter near him.I made move overfast, he told me, eyes on Aubrey.Dont give her that, I chastised. Its bad for her.Cats dont eat kernels of dry food in the wilderness.Aubrey couldnt survive in the wilderness.I scratched her head, only if she was to a greater ex tent interested in licking the grease off her chops. Opening the bag, I found a variety of sandwiches and hash brown patties.I didnt k straightway what youd want, Carter explained as I pulled out a Bacon, Egg, &038 Cheese Biscuit.I bit into it, melting at that scrumptiousness, grateful weight gain and cholesterol were non sluicets for me. Hey, wait. Did you in reality go to McDonalds?Yup.I swallowed the food. You retributive unexpended? average now?Yup.What liberal of bodyguard are you? What if the nephilim came back and attacked me?He eyed me and shrugged. You go by rootageize to me.Youre not very good at this.Who was on the phone?Seth.The author?Yeah. Wanted to hang out today. I told him I was sick.Poor guy. Youre pause his heart.Better that than something else. I finished the sandwich and went for a second one. Aubrey watched me hopefully.So what are we doing today?Nothing. At least, Im not going out, if thats what you mean.You arent going to attract nephilim attention that way. He glanced around my apartment and grimaced when I didnt respond. Its going to be a long day then. I hope you at least have cable.We spent the rest of the morning more or less staying out of each others way. I let him use my laptop, and he got caught up in surfing eBay. What he could be smell for, I had no idea. As for me, I stayed in my pajamas afterwards all, tossing a robe over them and deeming that good enough. I attempted to call Roman once, roll in the haying Id need to face him eventually, but I unless managed to parting a phonate mail message.I hung up with a sigh, opting to curl up on the couch with a book Seth had recommended in one of his e-mails.Just as I was starting to have in mind Id recovered from the dense breakfast and needed lunch, Carter short peered over the top of the laptop, resembling a run sniffing the wind.I have to go, he told me abruptly, standing up.What? What do you mean? Nephilim signature.I bolted upright from my lounging position. What? Where?Not here.With that, he blinked out of sight.I sat there, looking around uneasily. Whereas earlier Id felt stifled by his presence, his sudden fade became a gaping hole in my environment. I was exposed. Vulnerable. When he didnt emergence in a fewer minutes, I tried unsuccessfully to suffer up with attention to my book, finally giving up after Id reread the analogous(p) sendence five times.Still wanting lunch, I called and ordered a pizza pie, making sure I included enough for Carter. Doing this wasnt the best of ideas on my part since it meant opening the door eventually. When I did, I expected no less than an army of nephilim outside. Instead, I whole found a bored-looking pizza guy, demanding $15.07.I munched on the pizza and tried to watch television with little luck. Turning to the laptop, I checked my e-mail and found that Seth had sent me a funny letter, lots more eloquent than our earlier conversation, per usual. It only provided temporary distraction, an d I was on the verge of breaking out the paint-by- derive kit when Carter blinked back into my liveness room.What the hell was that? Where have you been?The angel regarded me with a calm, teetotal light upon a face. Easy there, havent you ever heard of respecting boundaries in a relationship? It was in that book you were so quick to discard.Cut it out. You cant vertical say nephilim signature and then disappear like that.I can actually. I have to. He found the cold pizza on my counter and bit into a piece. Swallowing, he continued, This nephilims got a real twisted sense of humor. Every once in a while, it likes to unmask f rack up us, so to speak. This time it came from westside Seattle.You can detect that from this far extraneous?Jerome and I can. We never catch the creep, but we have to check it out anyway. Leads us on a merry chase.The implications seemed obvious to me. So you leave me? What if its a setup? What if it flashes you over there and then zaps back to me while all the attentions away?It cant just zap around. Nephilim dont move like higher immortals do theyre constrained by the same limitations as you, fortunately. This one would have to get in a car and drive back over here, just like everyone else, which would hardly be a speedy process. Youre protected by miles of traffic congestion.Weird.Like we said, theyre unpredictable. They like breaking rules, shaking up the status quo just to see what well do.Weird, I go backed. Does it even know youre there? That its making you drop everything and come?If the nephilims close enough, itd be able to sense the teleporting but nothing else past that. As long as were masked, our identities, strength, and whatever stay hidden. So, if it is lurking, it knows two higher immortals came to check it out, but not much more than that.And it just watches and waits, I concluded. gentle of twisted. Lord, these things are a pain in the ass.Tell me about it. They do not go gently into that good night. I blinke d at the poetic reference. Wait thats whats going to happen? Youre going to kill er, destroy it or something?Carter cocked his head toward me curiously. Whatd you stand for would happen? Ten years and parole?I dont know. I just figured wow. I dont know. Are you into that? The whole smiting thing? I mean, I suppose you guys vanquish evil on a regular basis, huh?We smite, as you so cutely term it, when we have to. Demons fly the coop to be more into it than we are. In fact, Nanette even offered to come up and view as care of this nephilim, he recalled, referring to Portlands archdemoness. But I told Jerome Id help.Wouldnt Jerome want to do it himself?Do you refuse backup when its offered? he asked me, answering my school principal with a question which, really, was no answer at all. Thinking about it, he laughed softly. Of menstruate, I go away, Georgina rushes in where angels fear to tread.Yeah, yeah, I know how that quote really goes. I stood up and stretched. Well, if the exc itements over, I think Ill take a bath.Wow. The harsh life style of a succubus. I wish I had your job.Hey, our sides ever so recruiting. You might need to be a little prettier to be an incubus, though. And a little more charming.Untrue. Mortal women go for jerks. I see it all the time.Touche.I left him and took my bath, afterward finally giving up my pajamas for jeans and a T-shirt. I returned to the living room, turned on the television, and found The African-Queen just starting. Carter closed the laptop and watched with me. Id invariably liked Katharine Hepburn but couldnt help marvel at what a weary day this was turning out to be. Avoiding going outside wouldnt do me any good in the long term since Id have to drag Carter around with me tomorrow anyway when I went to work. My self-imposed enclosure today only prolonged the inevitable. In light of this, I considered breaking the cabin fever by seeing if he valued to go to dinner after the movie. He shot up before I could spea k, once more sensing a nephilim signature.Twice in one day?It happens.Where now?Lynn wood.This guy gets around.But I was speaking to empty air Carter had disappeared. Sighing, I turned back to the movie, feeling a little more at ease after the angels last explanation. The nephilim was in Lynnwood, trying to be a nuisance to Jerome and Carter. Commuting time was rapidly attack, and Lynnwood was no small excel away. No nephilim would beat the angel back. As Carter had pointed out, I was safe for the time creation. I had no need to panic.Yet, I nearly jumped out of my strip down anyway when I heard the phone ring a few minutes later. Nervously, I picked up the receiver, imagining a nephilim blasting out of it.Hello?Hey. Its me again.Seth. Hi.Hope Im not twoering you. I just cute to see how you areBetter, I told him sincerely. I liked your e-mail.Did you? Cool.Our normal silence fell. So did you get a lot of writing done today?I did actually. intimately ten pages. That never soun ds like a lot, but A brawl sounded at the door, and a chill ran down my spine. drop-can you hang on?Sure.Hesitantly, I prowled toward the door like a cat burglar, as though wordy and drawn-out movements would actually do something against an insanely roleful supernatural being. stretch king the door, I carefully peered out the peephole.Roman.Exhaling with relief, I unfastened the door, abideing the urge to take hold my arms around him. Hi.Are you spilling to me? asked Seth through the phone.Hi, Roman told me, looking just as uncertain as I felt. Can I come in? Er, no Im not, I mean, yes you can, and yes I am talking to you now. I stepped aside so Roman could enter. look Seth, can I, um, call you back? Or maybe Ill just see you tomorrow, pass?Uh, yeah. I guess. Everything okey?Its fine. Thanks for calling.We hung up, and I gave Roman my full attention.Seth Mortensen, famous author?Ive been sick today, I explained, using the same excuse Id given Seth. He just cherished to check on me. awfully considerate of him. Roman baffle his hands in his pockets and paced.Were just friends.Of course you are. Because you dont date, right?Roman I cut off the onslaught that wanted to rush out, switching to safer territory. Can I get you anything? Soda? hot chocolate?I cant stay. I was passing through and got your message. I just thought Id I dont know what I was thinking. It was stupid.He turned as if to leave, and I frantically reached out, grabbing his arm. Wait. Dont. Please.He turned to face me, looking down from his elevated height, the normally good-humored face grave today. Fighting my natural response at such proximity, I felt surprised when his expression softened, and he noted, mildly astonished, You really arent feeling well.W-what concords you say that? I had shape-shifted my bruises away as Jerome had suggested and whatever smarting pain I felt was no eight-day visible.Gingerly, he reached out and stroked my cheek, fingers becoming bolder. I dont know youre just kind of pale, I guess.I started to point out I wasnt wearing musical composition and then realized I wanted to appear sick. Probably a cold.He let his hand drop. Is there anything I can do for you? I dont like seeing you like thisLord, how bad did I look? Im fine. I just need rest. Look, about the other night Im sorry, he interrupted. I shouldnt have pushed you I stared, amazed. You didnt do anything. It was me. I was the nutjob. Im the one who couldnt share things.No, it was my fault. I knew how you felt about getting serious, and I still kissed you.I did as much kissing as you. That wasnt the problem. Me freaking out was the problem. I was inebriated and stupid. I shouldnt have done that to you.Its no problem. Really. Im just glad youre okay. A faint smile glimmered on his handsome features, and I guessed Seth utter I was easy to forgive. Look, since we two feel were at fault, maybe we can make it up to each other. Go out sometime this workweek and No. The calm certainty in my voice startled both of us.Georgina No. Roman, we arent going out anymore and I dont think we can really pull off friends either. I swallowed. Itd be better if we just make a clean break Georgina, he exclaimed, eyes widening. You cant be serious. You and I I know. I know. But I cant do this. Not now.Youre breaking up with me.Well, we werent ever really going outWhat happened to you? he demanded. What happened to you at some point in your life that made you so terrified of getting close to another person? What makes you run like this? Who hurt you?Look, its complicated. And it doesnt matter. That past is gone, remember? I just cant do this with you now, okay?Is there someone else? Doug? Or Seth?No Theres no one. I just cant be with you.We went around and around, rephrasing the same points in contrastive ways, our emotions growing and growing. It felt like forever, but really only a few minutes passed as he pressed and I refused. He never turned angry o r pushy, but his dismay was lay down apparent, and I felt certain Id cry as soon as he left.Finally, glancing at the time, he ran a hand ruefully through his dark whisker, turquoise eyes luminous with regret. I have to go. I want to talk to you more No. I dont think we should. Its better. Ive really liked being with youHe laughed harshly, walking toward the door. Dont say that. Dont sugar coat things.Roman I felt horrible. Anger and grief were written all over his face. Please understand See you around, Georgina. Or maybe not.He had barely slammed the door when tears spilled down my cheeks. Going to my bedroom, I present down on my bed, ready for a good cry that never came. No more tears issued forth, in spite of my mixed feelings of despondency and relief. Part of me wanted to call Roman back right now, make him return to me the other part coolly warned I now had clear reason to cut Seth off as soon as possible before things escalated.Good Lord, why did it seem I was always hurting passel I cared about? What was it about me that made me repeat this cycle over and over? Romans devastated face still hovered in my mind, but I took comfort in the fact that he hadnt been traumatized as much as Kyriakos. Not nearly as much.The discovery of my affair with Ariston had led to condemnation from both our families and an impending divorce coupled with the loss of my dowry. I think I might have been able to handle that scorn, even the hateful looks. What I could not handle was the way Kyriakos had been stripped of all life and caring. I almost wished he would turn angry and lash out at me, but there was nothing like that inside him. Nothing at all. I had destroyed him.After several old age of separation, I found him sitting on one of the rocky outcroppings bossy the water. I tried to engage him in conversation a number of times, but he wasnt responding to any of it. He would only stare out at that expanse of blue, face dead and expressionless.I stood by him, my own emotions writhing inside me. I had reveled in being a prohibit object of desire with Ariston, but I also wanted to be one of love with Kyriakos. I couldnt have it both ways apparently.I reached out to wipe the tears from his cheeks, and he slapped my hand away. It was the closest he had ever come to hitting me.Dont, he warned, leaping up. Dont ever tracing me again. You sicken me.I felt my own tears now, even if his fretfulness meant he was still alive. Please it was a mistake. I dont know what happened.He laughed hollowly, a terrible, mirthless sound. Dont you? You seemed to know perfectly well at the time. So did he.It was a mistake.He turned his back to me and walked over to the edge of the cliff, utter(a) out at the sea. He spread his arms out and reorient his head back, letting the wind blow over him. Gulls cried nearby. Wh-what are you doing?I am flying, he told me. If I keep flying right over this edge, I will be happy again. Or better yet, I wont feel anything at a ll. I wont think about you anymore. I wont think about your face or your eyes or the way you smile or the way you smell. I wont love you anymore. I wont hurt anymore.I approached him, half-afraid my presence would make him go over. Stop it. Youre scaring me. You dont mean any of this.Dont I?He looked at me, and there was no more anger or cynicism. Only grief. Sorrow. Despair. Depression shockinger than a moonless night. It was terrible and frightening. I wanted him to snap at me again, to yell at me. I would have even let him hit me, if only to see some sort of commove in him. There was none of that, though. Only darkness.He gave me a sad, mordant smile. The smile of one already dead.I will never forgive you.PleaseYou were my life, Letha but no more. No more. I have no life now.He walked away, and even as my heart broke, I exhaled in relief to see him moving away from the cliff. I wanted to run after him but gave him his space instead. Sitting down in his spot, I drew my knees up and buried my face in them, half deficiency I was dead.Hell come back here, you know, a voice suddenly said behind me. The pull is too strong. And next time, he may go over.I jerked my head up, startled. I hadnt heard anyone approach. I didnt recognize the man who now stood there, odd in a town where everyone knew everyone else. He was deoxidize and well-groomed, dressed in clothes more elegant than I commonly saw around here.Who are you?They call me Niphon, he said with a small bow. And you are Letha, Marthanes girl, formerly wife of Kyriakos.I still am his wife.But not for long.I turned my face away. What do you want?I want to help you, Letha. Id like to help you with this mess youve gotten yourself into.No one can help me. Not unless you can undo the past.No. No one can undo the past. I can make people forget it, though.I slowly turned back to him, assessing his bright as a new penny(predicate) eyes and dapper manner. Stop joking. Im not in the mood.I assure you, I am most earnest.Staring at him, I suddenly somehow knew he was telling the truth, as impossible as it was to believe. later I would learn that Niphon was an imp, but at the time, I had only sensed that he had a strange air about him, the whispering of power that promised he really could do what he said.How?His eyes gleamed, not unalike Hughs when he was on the edge of a major deal. To erase the storehouse of what youve done is no small feat. It carries a cost.Can you make me forget too?No. But I can make everyone else forget. Your family, your friends, the town. Him.I dont know I dont think I could go back to them then. purge if they didnt remember, I still would. I couldnt face Kyriakos like that. Unless I hesitated, query if it might not be better never to come in contact with them again. Can you make them forget me altogether? Make it like Ive never been born?Niphondrew a sharp, excited breath. Yes, oh yes. But a privilege like that a favor like that carries an even higher terms Hed explained it to me then, what Id have to give in return to completely blot me from the minds of those Id known. My individual was a given. Id carry it as long as I walked the earth, but it would have a lease on it, so to speak. That was the standard price for any hellish deal. But hell wanted more of me my double-dyed(a) service in the corruption of souls. I would spend the rest of my days seducing men, fulfilling their fantasies for my own gain and for those whom I served. It was an ironic fate, considering what had brought me to this point.To aid me, Id gain the ability to take any form I chose, as well as the power to enhance my own charm. And of course, Id have eternal life. Immortality and invulnerability. For some, that might have been benefit alone.Youd be good. One of the best. I can sense it inside you. Imps had the ability to look into a persons soul and nature. Most people think desire is only in the body, but its here too. He fey my forehead. And you would never d ie. You would stay young and beautiful forever, until the earth perishes.And after that?He smiled. Thats a long way off, Letha, whereas your husbands life is at stake now.That had been what exchange me. The knowledge that I could save Kyriakos and give him a new life, a life free of me where he would have a chance to be happy once more. A life where I could slink away from my disgrace and maybe even be rightfully punished. My soul which I barely understood anyway seemed a small price. Id agreed to the bargain, number 1 shaking on it, then putting my mark on paperwork I couldnt read. Niphon left me, and I returned to town. It was eerily simple.When I returned, it was exactly as he had promised. The wish had already been carried out. No one knew me. Passing people people Id known my entire life gave me the glances reserved for strangers. My own sisters walked by me without recognition. I wanted to find Kyriakos, to see if it was the same for him, but I couldnt collect the coura ge. I didnt want him to see my face, not ever again, even if he didnt recognize it. So I spent the day wandering, trying to accept the fact that I was gone to these people. It was harder than I thought it would be. And sadder.When nightfall came, I retreated again to the outskirts of town. I had nowhere to stay, after all. No family or friends. Instead, I sat in the dark, watching the moon and stars, wondering what I was supposed to do now. The answer came quickly.She rose almost from the ground, at eldest appearing as nothing more than a shadow, then step by step coalescing into the shape of a woman. The air vibrated with power around her, and suddenly I felt suffocated. I backed up, terror filling every part of me, my lungs unable to take in air. Wind rose from nowhere, whipping my hair and flattening the grass around me.Then, she stood before me, and the night was still again. Lilith. Queen of the Succubi. madam of the Night. The First Woman.Fear like I had never known sweep o ver me and lust. I had never been attracted to a woman before, but Lilith has that entrap on everyone. It is fixed in her being. No one can resist her.She wore a tall, slim shape that night, willowy and lovely. Her skin was the pale exsanguinous of the aristocracy of that time a white never achieved by those of us who worked outside regularly. Her hair was a ravens wing of black, falling in look waves to her ankles. And her eyes well, let me just say theres a reason the old myths call succubi flame-eyed. Her eyes were beautiful and deadly, promising anything you could ever want or desire if only you would let her help you. I still cant remember what color they were, but I could not look away from them that night.Letha, she crooned, approaching me. The air shimmered around her, and I actually trembled now from my desire. I wanted to run but instead sank to my knees, both from respect and the inability to stand. She came to me and tip my chin so that I had to look in those eyes again. Sharp, black nails dug painfully into my skin, and it felt wonderful. You will be my own daughter now, spreading discord and passion for the rest of your days. You will be both punisher and tester, a creature of both dreams and nightmares. Mortals will do anything for you, just for a touch. You will be loved and desired until the earth is dust.I whimpered at her proximity, and then she moved closer still, lifting me up so I stood before her. Those glorious lips came to mine, and that kiss shot orgasmic pleasure through my body. My cries were lost, smothered in that kiss. I closed my eyes, unable to look at her and unable to break away. I soaked into that ecstasy pulsing over and over in my body. And yet, as I let that bliss consume me, something else happened too.My mortality was being stripped away.It felt like disintegrating, like I had become ashes in the wind. I wondered if that was how death felt. Like you were nothing. Gone. Then, just as quickly, I was put back togeth er, myself once more. But I could feel the power intent through me now, different from the life that filled humans. My immortality shone like a star in the night, cold and pure. No longer would old age threaten. No longer would sickness haunt me. No longer would my flesh be passionately driven by the knowledge that time was short, that I had to leave my mark on the world. That I had to pass on my blood.I opened my eyes, and the onslaught of pleasure disappeared. So did Lilith. I stood alone in the darkness, palpitate with my newfound power. And with that power, I could feel something more an itch in my flesh. An itch that told me my skin could become anything I wanted it to be with only a thought. I was reborn. I was empowered.And I was hungryWhats wrong?Blinking back tears, I looked up at Carter. He stood in the doorway to my bedroom, move a lock of hair out of his eyes, face concerned.Nothing, I muttered, interment my face in my pillow. No nephilim ?No nephilim. An awkward paus e followed. Look are you sure youre okay? Because you dont look okay.Im fine. Didnt you hear me?He still wouldnt give up, though. I know were not that close, but if you need to talk Like youd understand, I scoffed, venom in my voice. Youve never had a heart. You dont know what its like, so dont even pretend like you do.Georgina.Go. Away. Please.I turned back toward my pillow, waiting for another protest, but none came. When I dared a peek, the angel was gone.