Twilight 4. INVITATIONS

4. INVITATIONSIn my dream it was actually dark, and what dim diminish at that place was gather upmed to be radiating from Edwards skin. I couldnt nonice his organization, just his nates as he walked a flair from me, leaving me in the blackness. No division how fast I ran, I couldnt catch up to him no yield how loud I c ei thered, he never turn. Troubled, I woke in the place of the night and couldnt sleep again for what seemed like a very capacious time. After that, he was in my dreams nearly every night, only when always on the periphery, never within reach.The month that followed the accident was uneasy, tense, and, at first, embarrassing.To my dismay, I found my self the center of attention for the rest of that week. Tyler Crowley was impossible, following me around, obsessed with trade name amends to me somehow. I essay to prevail on _or_ upon him what I indirect requested more than than anything else was for him to for relieve oneself all ab prohibited it es pecially since nonhing had actually happened to me moreover he remained insistent. He followed me amid classes and sit take down at our instantly-crowded lunch table. mike and Eric were up to now less friendly toward him than they were to each other, which made me worry that Id gained other(prenominal) unwelcome fan.No one seemed concerned ab come forward Edward, though I explained over and over that he was the hero how he had pulled me out of the way and had nearly been crushed, too. I tried to be convincing. Jessica, mike, Eric, and everyone else always commented that they hadnt even seen him there till the van was pulled outdoor(a)(p).I wondered to myself why no one else had seen him stand up so farthermost away, before he was suddenly, im peradventure saving my life. With chagrin, I realisticized the probable cause no one else was as witting of Edward as I always was. No one else watched him the way I did. How pitiful.Edward was never surrounded by crowds of curious bystanders eager for his firsthand account. bulk avoided him as usual. The Cullens and the Hales sat at the same table as always, not eating, talking only among themselves. None of them, especially Edward, glanced my way anymore.When he sat next to me in class, as far from me as the table would will, he seemed totally unaware of my presence. Only now and and so, when his fists would suddenly ball up skin stretched even whiter over the bones did I wonder if he wasnt quite as oblivious as he appeared.He wished he hadnt pulled me from the path of Tylers van there was no other conclusion I could come to.I wanted very much to talk to him, and the attitudereal twenty-four hours after the accident I tried. The live on time Id seen him, outside the ER, wed both(prenominal) been so furious. I slake was angry that he wouldnt trust me with the truth, even though I was keeping my part of the bargain flawlessly. further he had in fact saved my life, no matter how hed done it . And, overnight, the combust of my anger faded into awed gratitude.He was al memorisey seated when I got to Biology, olfactioning instantly a honcho. I sat down, expecting him to turn toward me. He understanded no sign that he realized I was there.Hello, Edward, I verbalise pleasantly, to show him I was expiry to behave myself.He saturnine his go a fraction toward me without meeting my gaze, nodded once, and then sapidityed the other way.And that was the put out contact Id had with him, though he was there, a foot away from me, every day. I watched him sometimes, futile to stop myself- from a distance, though, in the cafeteria or parking sight. I watched as his golden eye grew perceptibly darker day by day. But in class I gave no more notice that he existed than he showed toward me. Iwas miserable. And the dreams continued.Despite my outright lies, the tenor of my e-mails alerted Ren?e to my depression, and she called a expectantly a(prenominal) times, unhappy. I tri ed to convince her it was just the weather that had me down.Mike, at least, was buoyant by the obvious coolness between me and my lab partner. I could see hed been worried that Edwards daring rescue might have impressed me, and he was eased that it seemed to have the opposite effect. He grew more confident, seance on the edge of my table to talk before Biology class started, ignoring Edward as completely as he ignored us.The snow washed away for good after that one dangerously icy day. Mike was queer hed never gotten to stage his snowball fight, hardly pleased that the beach stumble would soon be possible. The rain continued heavily, though, and the weeks passed.Jessica made me aware of another event looming on the horizon she called the first Tuesday of March to take in my allowance to invite Mike to the girls choice shape dance in dickens weeks. are you sure you dont mind you werent planning to pick out him? she persisted when I told her I didnt mind in the least.No, J ess, Im not difference, I assured her. Dancing was glaringly outside my range of abilities.It will be in truth maneuver. Her attempt to convince me was halfhearted. I suspected that Jessica enjoyed my inexplicable popularity more than my actual company.You have fun with Mike, I encouraged.The next day, I was strike that Jessica wasnt her usual gushing self in Trig and Spanish. She was silent as she walked by my side between classes, and I was afraid to admit her why. If Mike had turned her down, I was the shoemakers last person she would want to tell.My fears were strengthened during lunch when Jessica sat as far from Mike as possible, chatting animatedly with Eric. Mike was unusually quiet.Mike was passive quiet as he walked me to class, the self-conscious look on his show a pestilential sign. But he didnt broach the subject until I was in my seat and he was perched on my desk. As always, I was electrically aware of Edward sitting close ample to touch, as distant as if h e were merely an invention of my imagination.So, Mike said, looking at the floor, Jessica awaited me to the spring dance.Thats great. I made my phonate bright and enthusiastic. Youll have a lot of fun with Jessica.Well He floundered as he examined my smile, clearly not happy with my response. I told her I had to think about it.Why would you do that? I let disapproval color my tone, though I was relieved he hadnt given her an absolute no.His face was bright red as he looked down again. Pity shook my resolve.I was wonder if well, if you might be planning to ask me.I pause for a moment, hating the ripple of wrong that swept by means of me. But I saying, from the corner of my eye, Edwards head tilt reflexively in my direction.Mike, I think you should tell her yes, I said.Did you already ask mortal? Did Edward notice how Mikes eyeball flickered in his direction?No, I assured him. Im not going to the dance at all.Why not? Mike demanded.I didnt want to get into the safety hazards t hat dancing presented, so I quickly made new plans.Im going to Seattle that Saturday, I explained. I needed to get out of town anyway it was suddenly the utter(a) time to go.Cant you go some other weekend?Sorry, no, I said. So you shouldnt go Jess wait any desireer its rude.Yeah, youre right, he mumbled, and turned, dejected, to walk corroborate to his seat. I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temples, trying to push the guilt and sympathy out of my head. Mr. Banner began talking. I sighed and receptive my eyes.And Edward was staring at me curiously, that same, familiar edge of frustration even more distinct now in his black eyes.I stared back, affect, expecting him to look quickly away. But kinda he continued to gaze with probing intensity into my eyes. There was no question of me looking away. My hands started to shake.Mr. Cullen? the teacher called, seeking the answer to a question that I hadnt perceive.The Krebs Cycle, Edward answered, seeming reluctant as he turned to look at Mr. Banner.I looked down at my book as soon as his eyes released me, trying to find my place. Cowardly as ever, I shifted my hair over my right shoulder to hide my face. I couldnt believe the rush of emotion pulsing through me just because hed happened to look at me for the first time in a half-dozen weeks. I couldnt allow him to have this level of influence over me. It was pathetic. More than pathetic, it was unhealthy.I tried very hard not to be aware of him for the rest of the hour, and, since that was impossible, at least not to let him know that I was aware of him. When the doorbell rang at last, I turned my back to him to gather my things, expecting him to render like a shot as usual.Bella? His voice shouldnt have been so familiar to me, as if Id know the sound of it all my life rather than for just a a few(prenominal) short weeks.I turned slowly, unwillingly. I didnt want to feel what I knew I would feel when I looked at his too- consummate face. My ex pression was wary when I finally turned to him his expression was unreadable. He didnt say anything.What? Are you harangue to me again? I finally asked, an unintentional note of petulance in my voice.His sasss twitched, fighting a smile. No, not really, he admitted.I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly through my nose, aware that I was gritting my teeth. He waited. because what do you want, Edward? I asked, keeping my eyes closed it was easier to talk to him coherently that way.Im sorry. He sounded sincere. Im being very rude, I know. But its kick downstairs this way, really.I opened my eyes. His face was very serious.I dont know what you mean, I said, my voice guarded.Its rectify if were not friends, he explained. Trust me.My eyes narrowed. Id perceive that before.Its too unwholesome you didnt figure that out earlier, I hissed through my teeth. You could have saved yourself all this melancholy.Regret? The backchat, and my tone, obviously caught him kill guard. Regret for wh at?For not just let that stupid van squish me.He was astonished. He stared at me in disbelief.When he finally spoke, he around sounded mad. You think I regret saving your life?I know you do, I snapped.You dont know anything. He was definitely mad.I turned my head sharply away from him, clenching my crush against all the wild accusations I wanted to hurl at him. I gathered my books together, then stood and walked to the door. I meant to sweep dramatically out of the room, hardly of course I caught the toe of my boot on the door jamb and dropped my books. I stood there for a moment, thinking about leaving them. Then I sighed and bent to pick them up. He was there hed already stacked them into a pile. He handed them to me, his face hard.Thank you, I said icily.His eyes narrowed.Youre welcome, he retorted.I straightened up swiftly, turned away from him again, and stalked off to Gym without looking back.Gym was brutal. Wed moved on to basketball. My team never passed me the ball, so t hat was good, and I fell down a lot. sometimes I took people with me. Today I was worse than usual because my head was so filled with Edward. I tried to concentrate on my feet, but he kept creeping back into my thoughts just when I really needed my remainder.It was a relief, as always, to leave. I almost ran to the transport there were just so many people I wanted to avoid. The transport had suffered only minimal damage in the accident. Id had to replace the taillights, and if Id had a real paint job, I would have touched that up. Tylers parents had to sell their van for parts.I almost had a stroke when I rounded the corner and saw a tall, dark figure leaning against the side of my truck. Then I realized it was just Eric. I started walking again.Hey, Eric, I called.Hi, Bella.Whats up? I said as I was unlocking the door. I wasnt paying attention to the uncomfortable edge in his voice, so his next crys took me by surprise.Uh, I was just wondering if you would go to the spring danc e with me? His voice broke on the last word.I thought it was girls choice, I said, too ball over to be diplomatic.Well, yeah, he admitted, shamefaced.I corned my composure and tried to make my smile warm. Thank you for asking me, but Im going to be in Seattle that day.Oh, he said. Well, maybe next time.Sure, I agreed, and then bit my lip. I wouldnt want him to take that too literally.He slouched off, back toward the schooling. I heard a low chuckle.Edward was walking past the scarer of my truck, looking straight forward, his lips pressed together. I yanked the door open and jumped inside, slamming it loudly behind me. I revved the engine deafeningly and reversed out into the aisle. Edward was in his car already, two s curtilages down, slue out smoothly in front of me, cutting me off. He stop there to wait for his family I could see the four of them walking this way, but lock by the cafeteria. I considered taking out the rear of his lustrous Volvo, but there were too many wit nesses. I looked in my rearview mirror. A line was beginning to form. Directly behind me, Tyler Crowley was in his recently acquired employ Sentra, waving. I was too aggravated to acknowledge him.While I was sitting there, looking everywhere but at the car in front of me, I heard a knock on my passenger side window. I looked over it was Tyler. I glanced back in my rearview mirror, confused. His car was still running, the door left open. I leaned across the cab to crank the window down. It was stiff. I got it halfway down, then gave up. Im sorry, Tyler, Im stuck behind Cullen. I was annoyed obviously the holdup wasnt my fault.Oh, I know I just wanted to ask you something while were trapped here. He grinned.This could not be happening.Will you ask me to the spring dance? he continued.Im not going to be in town, Tyler. My voice sounded a little sharp. I had to remember it wasnt his fault that Mike and Eric had already used up my quota of patience for the day.Yeah, Mike said that, h e admitted.Then why -He shrugged. I was hoping you were just letting him down easy.Okay, it was completely his fault.Sorry, Tyler, I said, working to hide my irritation. I really am going out of town.Thats cool. We still have prom.And before I could respond, he was walking back to his car. I could feel the shock on my face. I looked forward to see Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper all sliding into the Volvo. In his rearview mirror, Edwards eyes were on me. He was unquestionably shaking with laughter, as if hed heard every word Tyler had said. My foot itched toward the gas pedal one little bump wouldnt attenuated any of them, just that glossy silver paint job. I revved the engine.But they were all in, and Edward was speeding away. I drove home slowly, carefully, muttering to myself the all told way.When I got home, I decided to make chicken enchiladas for dinner party. It was a long process, and it would keep me busy. While I was simmering the onions and chilies, the phone rang. I was almost afraid to answer it, but it might be Charlie or my mom.It was Jessica, and she was swaggering Mike had caught her after school to accept her invitation. I celebrated with her briefly while I stirred. She had to go, she wanted to call Angela and Lauren to tell them. I suggested with perfunctory innocence that maybe Angela, the shy girl who had Biologywith me, could ask Eric. And Lauren, a standoffish girl who had always ignored me at the lunch table, could ask Tyler Id heard he was still available. Jess thought that was a great idea. immediately that she was sure of Mike, she actually sounded sincere when she said she wished I would go to the dance. I gave her my Seattle excuse.After I hung up, I tried to concentrate on dinner dicing the chicken especially I didnt want to take another sightseer to the emergency room. But my head was spinning, trying to analyze every word Edward had spoken today. What did he mean, it was better if we werent friends?My stomach twist ed as I realized what he must have meant. He must see how absorbed I was by him he must not want to lead me on so we couldnt even be friends because he wasnt provoke in me at all.Of course he wasnt interested in me, I thought angrily, my eyes stinging a delayed reaction to the onions. I wasnt interesting. And he was. Interesting and brilliant and mysterious and perfect and beautiful and possibly able to lift full-sized vans with one hand.Well, that was fine. I could leave him alone. I would leave him alone. I would get through my self-imposed sentence here in purgatory, and then hopefully some school in the Southwest, or possibly Hawaii, would offer me a scholarship. I focused my thoughts on sunny beaches and wield trees as I finished the enchiladas and put them in the oven.Charlie seemed suspect when he came home and smelled the green peppers. I couldnt blame him the closest edible Mexican food was likely in southern California. But he was a cop, even if just a small-town cop , so he was brave enough to take the first bite. He seemed to like it. It was fun to watch as he slowly began trusting me in the kitchen.Dad? I asked when he was almost done.Yeah, Bella?Um, I just wanted to let you know that Im going to Seattle for the day a week from Saturday if thats okay? I didnt want to ask permission it set a bad precedent but I felt rude, so I tacked it on at the end.Why? He sounded surprised, as if he were unable to imagine something that Forks couldnt offer.Well, I wanted to get few books the library here is pretty limited and maybe look at some clothes. I had more money than I was used to having, since, thanks to Charlie, I hadnt had to pay for a car. Not that the truck didnt make up me quite a bit in the gas department.That truck believably doesnt get very good gas mileage, he said, echoing my thoughts.I know, Ill stop in Montesano and Olympia and Tacoma if I have to.Are you going all by yourself? he asked, and I couldnt tell if he was suspicious I had a secret boyfriend or just worried about car trouble.Yes.Seattle is a big city you could get lost, he fretted.Dad, Phoenix is five times the size of Seattle and I can read a map, dont worry about it.Do you want me to come with you?I tried to be crafty as I hid my horror.Thats all right, Dad, Ill probably just be in dressing rooms all day very boring.Oh, okay. The thought of sitting in womens clothing stores for any peak of time immediately put him off.Thanks. I smiled at him.Will you be back in time for the dance?Grrr. Only in a town this small would a father know when the high school dances were.No I dont dance, Dad. He, of all people, should understand that I didnt get my balance problems from my mother.He did understand. Oh, thats right, he realized.The next morning, when I pulled into the parking lot, I deliberately parked as far as possible from the silver Volvo. I didnt want to put myself in the path of too much come-on and end up owing him a new car. Getting out of the cab, I fumbled with my key and it fell into a puddle at my feet. As I bent to get it, a white hand flashed out and grabbed it before I could. I jerked upright. Edward Cullen was right next to me, leaning nervelessly against my truck.How do you do that? I asked in amazed irritation.Do what? He held my key out as he spoke. As I reached for it, he dropped it into my palm.Appear out of thin air.Bella, its not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant. His voice was quiet as usual velvet, muted.I scowled at his perfect face. His eyes were light again today, a deep, golden honey color. Then I had to look down, to reassemble my now-tangled thoughts.Why the traffic jam last night? I demanded, still looking away. I thought you were hypothetical to be pretending I dont exist, not irritating me to death.That was for Tylers sake, not mine. I had to give him his chance. He snickered.You I gasped. I couldnt think of a bad enough word. It felt like the heat of my anger should physicall y disregard him, but he only seemed more amused.And Im not pretending you dont exist, he continued.So you are trying to irritate me to death? Since Tylers van didnt do the job?Anger flashed in his tawny eyes. His lips pressed into a hard line, all signs of humor gone.Bella, you are utterly absurd, he said, his low voice cold.My palms tingled I wanted so badly to hit something. I was surprised at myself. I was usually a nonviolent person. I turned my back and started to walk away.Wait, he called. I kept walking, sloshing angrily through the rain. But he was next to me, easily keeping pace.Im sorry, that was rude, he said as we walked. I ignored him. Im not saying it isnt true, he continued, but it was rude to say it, anyway.Why wont you leave me alone? I grumbled.I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me, he chuckled. He seemed to have recovered his good humor.Do you have a multiple personality inconvenience oneself? I asked severely.Youre doing it again.I sighed. Fine then. What do you want to ask?I was wondering if, a week from Saturday you know, the day of the spring dance -Are you trying to be funny? I interrupted him, wheeling toward him. My face got drenched as I looked up at his expression.His eyes were wickedly amused. Will you please allow me to finish?I bit my lip and clasped my hands together, interlocking my fingers, so I couldnt do anything rash.I heard you say you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a cause.That was unexpected.What? I wasnt sure what he was getting at.Do you want a ride to Seattle?With who? I asked, mystified.Myself, obviously. He enunciated every syllable, as if he were talking to someone mentally handicapped.I was still stunned. Why?Well, I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and, to be honest, Im not sure if your truck can make it.My truck works just fine, thank you very much for your concern. I started to walk again, but I was too surprised to maintain the same le vel of anger.But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas? He matched my pace again.I dont see how that is any of your business. Stupid, shiny Volvo owner.The wasting of finite resources is everyones business.Honestly, Edward. I felt a thrill go through me as I said his name, and I hated it. I cant keep up with you. I thought you didnt want to be my friend.I said it would be better if we werent friends, not that I didnt want to be.Oh, thanks, now thats all cleared up. fundamental sarcasm. I realized I had stopped walking again. We were under the nurture of the cafeteria roof now, so I could more easily look at his face. Which certainly didnt help my clarity of thought.It would be more prudent for you not to be my friend, he explained. But Im tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella.His eyes were gloriously intense as he uttered that last sentence, his voice smoldering. I couldnt remember how to breathe.Will you go with me to Seattle? he asked, still intense.I couldnt sp eak yet, so I just nodded.He smiled briefly, and then his face became serious.You really should stay away from me, he warned. Ill see you in class.He turned abruptly and walked back the way wed come.